Thursday, September 18, 2008

Bogged Down

I don't know about you but I'm not much for watching the news or reading the paper. I don't think there's anything wrong with staying up to date on current events and in fact I actually think we need to, to some degree. For me though, things seem to stay with me and it's hard for me not to be weighed down and sometimes even depressed by certain stories. I'll pray for the people involved and try not to dwell on the story but it's not always that easy. Sometimes I feel so weighed down and such heaviness that's it really stresses me out. I realize that this is a problem for me that I'm working through but is also the main reason I personally don't keep up on current events regularly. Usually how I will even hear of a story, I'm talking more about personal tragedies, abductions, murders etc.... is if someone tells me, when I check my email there will be news headings that pull me in, if I overhear the news while the hubs is watching it (though he usually watches political shows and stays away from the stories I'm talking about).

Last night I was praying to God about why it's so hard for me to not be so weighed and bogged down by all the stories that seem to flood through the media. This morning I felt like He was telling me that I have a compassionate heart, I'm sensitive and care deeply about people. That's not a bad thing really. He also reminded me that I should pray and then give each situation to God and trust that He will take care of 'them' because it's simply not my job. I think the enemy knows my buttons and besides distracting me, he also knows I tend to take on other peoples stories and he at times can really weigh me down. There are times that I have walked in this and it's such a wonderfully free place to live in, just hard to live there all the time.

I'm thinking of that saying 'you are what you eat' or how about 'garbage in garbage out'. In other words what we allow to filter through us will come out in some way. If I'm constantly being bombarded (some by choice some not) by sad and depressing news, then chances are I'm going to struggle with being sad and depressed.

There are things I do to prevent that very thing from happening which usually is a great help. Besides the obvious of praying and asking for God's help which I try to daily, I listen to worship and/or upbeat music, I do a gratitude journal or at least try to verbalize my gratitude in little throw ups (prayers to God while I'm working) to God while I'm cleaning house. These things really are instruments that seem to help and are how I try to live not because I have to but more because for me, it's just healthier to. Some days/seasons are easier than others for sure but the truth remains that I do have a lot to be thankful for no matter what I'm going through or what the season is!

This morning in my devotional time, I read a verse that struck me and touched me deeply. One that I've heard many, many times and there is even a beautiful song about it but especially after writing the above yesterday and actually stressing quite a bit about my point not really getting across this verse was quite timely for me.

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer.

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